This is the story of an online date got real!

At first communications were confusing but after this description of our real meeting, is the rant I wrote him before we met - in response to his statements!…he was studying energy forms as we shall discover!...

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SO WHAT HAPPENED WHEN WE MET!?...

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Peter came to see me by train and bus and we went for a walk on the rough woodland and stream area opposite my home…

The first thing he said to me there was “ I am so lucky to have met you!”

We had sex which I don’t recall! - but what I remember more was him wanting to breathe together in a cyclical way, as no one else I knew did that.

We remained friends for a while and he stayed in my spare room sometimes. He’d got a job as a long distance lorry driver.

He had a harem! His favourite girl lived near his family home in Malvern.

One day I came home and found the spare room had been turned into a Cannabis growing place with 24 hour full spectrum lighting! He paid the bills! Blinds down, - many plants of various sorts. He asked me to water them regularly when he was away! I don’t smoke but sometimes I sat and just breathed the plants for a while and watched a few lazy flies!

He was going to sell it in London, not locally, but it makes me smile to remember they demolished those flats as a drug area later (due other users) - and I had to ask him to remove it all before I was moved to another place…

I loved that 2 storey maisonette with a balcony big enough to sit out on. I pot-planted a rowan tree there and moved it to my next home’s garden where it’s now full size! The maisonette had huge windows overlooking grass and trees and sky. But underneath were small flats with concrete views and some were just garages under the blocks! Very depressing to be stuck in I imagine… They were all demolished and houses built instead!

Peter carried on with his energy studies – which system's name I have forgotten - but it got a bit out of hand in another girlfriend’s kitchen where he caused a fire and had to redecorate it for her! Thank goodness it wasn’t mine!

We’ve lost touch now. I hope he’s happy with his favourite lady. It was an online date that became a really special relationship I have only good memories of.

Now here’s the rant I replied to his statements with…

Hello Peter,

I cannot sleep tonight. I am feeling quite dizzy from going round and round in heady circles. You asked me what do I want, and surely at root, after all the programming layers and ego massaging manipulations are stripped away, we all NEED and want the same things - to be loved and enjoyed and physically earthed and nurtured. But it’s hard to find that because elementally in the first place it doesn't work the same with everyone - we are no longer simply splitting amoebae in the soup anymore who can pair up un-egotistically with any other amoeba! - Plus its harder to find because people are programmed out of it into many sellable substitutes for the consumerist profit of a jealous, alien agenda, who have no heart, and with so many distractions they are being programmed to believe are more important.  We get fussier and fussier as our egos get bigger and more painful and I suppose that’s a sign of the demise of our species, but nevertheless it’s true that there are only certain elemental combos that work in a constructive cycle with each other, according to ancient wisdom of Ki analysis, and if you get offered one of those and then trash it for box-ticking ego reasons you are a fool wasting this your precious life in the body temple… There are energies or spirits - or whatever you want to call it/them! - queued up all around the cosmos waiting to be born into a body to experience things you can only do in a body and not in other vibrational existences, and the most magical of those is sharing ecstasy with another person that connects you back to cosmic creative energy at the same time as still being planted here… But the reptiles want to tell you it’s just a dirty three letter Greek word that you can disparage and vulgarise and get anywhere anytime, and substitute for anyway - see the government’s advertisement for chlamydia and it is an AD. FOR chlamydia and its shameful… to sell condoms and more drugs. I never use condoms. They are full of skin-immune-damaging SLS etc, rather than protective - and chlamydia is present in the bowel all the time anyway – if you do anal sex it’s a bigger risk, but you can transpose it with careless arse wiping or if you have the runs. It’s the same misinformation they tell you about HIV - which is NOT just sexually transmitted. - It’s carried by a now world-wide snail, so you can pick it up off an unwashed salad or a dog lick, but you won’t get ill with it unless you have Benzene in your thymus gland – so stop using scrunchy plastics et al which feed you Benzene.

I feel that ideologically we may be poles apart, but I hope you won’t say no to our relationship because of that, if there does turn out be chemistry between us... Because as I said, I find that the gift of chemistry is a rarity and something to be treasured and nurtured, and not played manipulative games with nor disparaged or wasted.

You sound frustrated and confused about why you are without love and the relationship you want, and sound as though you want it all agreed in advance. But that means you are unable to enjoy the journey of exploration and be 'in the moment' or 'in the now' with it, and accept that a person is a living, breathing, sensitive, vibrating, changing blossom and plant that feels differently every day and at different times of the month and year, and hour to hour, and the fun and joy of it is going with that and letting the energy of it take you and surprise you and trusting in something that is much bigger than you are and not trying to strap it down and control it out of fear or a desire to control, as that only limits your experiences and pleasures... And it means that you will also apply that stance to it ongoingly, after you had decided it had passed your test and you wanted to do it again! - which frightens me, because I know that slams doors to growth and enhancement and development of relationships.

So I don't know whether you are a 5(2)8 or 5(1)9 in Nine Star Ki. Because they are next door to each other in elemental make up, there are similarities between them - overlaps if you like - that show the same frustration and problems for you that obviously have dogged you to date, and are the reason for the confusion and frustration I can hear and feel in you.

The Ki says that with the right support system you can start to feel secure and blossom, but I have put in support systems of love and flexibility for people in the past and never had them give back to me the respect for me as a creative and valuable person with needs for awareness and consideration and support, and that need in you, coupled with a very conventional, conservative background, and being therefore inevitably chauvinist from a patriarchal society's programming, mean that probably you want to put a woman in the sweet tin for certain duties round the house and functions and support of you, and I now need something quite different to bring my life to fruition....

So I will outline my dream relationship but say even before I do that, that I could be dead for 100 years before that might statistically walk into my life! But people meet for a reason as part of their evolution and we mirror each other and to turn gifts of learning, sharing, growing, experiencing and pleasure away because they don't tick all my dream boxes would be totally unintelligent and unreal of me and a terrible waste of the gifts my guides and my life are bringing to me. A denial of life in fact, and a hiding in a rigid, glacial box of fear.

I think you might enjoy articulating your dream relationship too, and also know that even if I didn't tick all your boxes, that doesn't mean we may not have something important to give to each other and to waste it would be silly. Maybe it’s only this understanding I am sending you now, that may help you to deal with the isolationism and control stuff that only you can deal with and see and no one else can change for you. Only you can do that by recognizing it.

So my dream relationship is this: (but the chance of finding it all in one person is so remote, I am not holding my breath!)...

I find a wonderful lover, who loves being around me and gets a buzz out my voice and my many talents - writing, thinking, wisdom, and who enjoys looking at me and touching me and wants to be ecstatic with me as much as possible. He enjoys massage and Reflexology and wants to devote time to sharing one or other of these with me every day as a priority over TV, sport, papers, work or any other poor substitute! He gives energy to that physical nurture knowing it is healthy and sane and also sometimes leads to greater love ecstasy, and also means the relationship will blossom. The feelings he lives with inside him all the time will be wonderful and light and full of love, peace and grounded relaxation - that actually enhances work and creativity when he turns to focus on it and he is doing the same for his lover, and empowering her to fulfil her maximum creativity too - with his love and nurture.

He also is a talented computer whizz kid and wants to help me bring my sites to fruition illustrating all my writing, lyrics, stories, poems and musical (Baba Yaga) with moving image and sound, in stunningly moving, elegant, icon-standard design. Or he wants to be my agent and find the right people to do the computer designing, but believes in my work and its importance and wants to see it come to fruition, and knows that as a team we can make money through these things just naturally - not as the main reason for doing them - as well as having a deeply satisfying life style through all the evolved people it will bring us into contact with.

I want a lover who enjoys nature and some traveling and respectful exchange with indigenous cultures and is concerned to put in some carbon wedges to compensate for the airmiles used traveling, and also is interested in taking a stand on ecological and human rights and Gaian issues with others locally and globally. We could have had electric cars from wind and solar power and anti-gravity, non-oil based air travel ages ago if the reptiles cared a toss about this beautiful earth. They only prove they have somewhere else to go by their actions and denials.

I think nationalism/patriotism has had its day. Any kind of barrier like that is planet-destructive. We are one organism and need to start functioning like that and take our blinkers off. Eckhart Tolle's 'The Power of Now' will help everyone to get there. But it cannot be sped-read. You have to read it in small sections and do the emotional work on it as you go, before moving on with it. That can take months.

So I want an evolved lover who sees all this and wants to be fit and healthy so he can be a wonderful lover and knows his happiness depends on keeping his Goddess in a state of bliss and that way she will respond equally and he will also live in bliss, and they will spread by butterfly wing vibration, love, peace, joy and freedom to everyone else - no separation.

That is a million miles away from people who depend on the manipulation of law to survive and control others, but a knowledge of law might be useful as protection from people who are still operating on those base vibrational levels.

Basically there is no democracy anymore and laws are made to further verminise the poor, and cynically poison them. Laws they want to get passed quickly and virtually invisibly, are scheduled for hearings at times when recesses are due so there is no time for second hearings, consultations, objections or public consultation and opinion… That is not wanted, or sought. - Or support for these are bought, and the government - who are merely puppets of the reptilian committee of three hundred / Bilderberg group of aliens - who rape this beautiful earth and use its populace as ant-robot workers for their dinners of fear, cannot even see their own destruction, oxygen and health reduction and are so addicted to their own consumerism, competition, status and kudos they can’t see the wood for the trees.

MPs should not be allowed to have any other payment, consultancy, perk or hidden backhander. If they can’t live on an MP's salary they are far too divorced from ordinary people to represent them honestly. Corruption rules, not decent laws, only cynical and manipulative laws.

The legal aid system is a very sick joke, that serves to pretend to help poor people while making yet more money for solicitors and treats its clients as guilty before they start! - and the contract between them is full of cop-outs and gets-outs of actually doing anything for the clients, while protecting the lawyers right to extortion of fees, whatever the outcome.

So I want to live in joy and love at a vibrational/energetic level with people I trust and who trust me, a level that does not need to waste time or energy operating with those un-evolved, bureaucratic, un-creative head manipulators.

But whatever ideas or perceived values one has, they are all irrelevant to the chemistry. One should be able to put the ideas aside and respect and enjoy the chemistry. It's deeper, older, wiser and forever, whereas the fashions of 'ideas' change by the hour, week, year, era, culture, geography, patriarchy, matriarchy, millennia and billennia!